Crying with me
Listening without interrupting
Staying solid and present when what I say is big and challenging
Staying silent while I find the words
Staying silent even when you don’t agree
Speaking without trying to control
Not pretending you have all the answers
Not trying to defend yourself or make me wrong
Resisting saying what you would do in my circumstances
Asking what I need
Asking how I can get it
Not assuming I want you to take charge or provide me with what I need
If you have never had a moment when you felt powerless, overwhelmed, distraught or incapable of digging your way out, then you haven’t yet finished life’s great journey. And you’re probably not ready to hold a space for someone else who is feeling those things. The desire to fix it, to change it, to remove the source of pain as quickly as humanly possible is immense. You might think all your suggestions are there to help them, but you’re most likely just trying to help yourself out of uncomfortableness. Fixing the issues may not be in your gift and, even if is… Are you going to take more power from the person by assuming you know best for them?
Healing conversations are uncomfortable conversations because they allow what needs to heal to come to the surface. In its entirety. Uncensored. Imperfect. There is no route round it. No short-cut.
To the Healers out there who hold space for these conversations everyday know that you are doing something amazing, valuable and worthwhile. You are providing the opportunity for uncomfortable to make its journey into healing. Deep listening, thoughtful action. Know also that sometimes those conversation are too big for you to hold. Sometimes it is right to call in someone else or step back because you’re in too deep yourself. Know that if your organisation doesn’t have provision to support the supporter – you are in the wrong organisation.
And if you know you are absolutely not a natural Healer and you want to skip the uncomfortable conversations entirely. Know this. Your organisation will fail without its healers. Slowly but surely your talent pool will desert you and those loyal enough to stay will crumble. Uncomfortable conversations do not slow work down – they identify what is slowing work down. Which is why you need to be willing to have uncomfortable conversations with your Healers. Regularly. About all the work they are doing on your behalf. About all the deep truths they have been party to because of their ability to sit with uncomfortableness and truly listen. If you have even an inkling that you’re using your Healers as a giant band-aid or, perhaps worse, a sponge to soak up all the discomfort so you don’t have to deal with it, then you are steering your ship towards the jagged rocks my friend. Set up the meeting, ask the questions, be willing to get uncomfortable for just an iota of the time they spend doing it every day.
Ring a bell? Did you know I offer 1-2-1 coach/mentoring programmes to magical people just like you? Book a chat
with me and let’s start turning uncomfortable conversations into healing conversations.
Catch up on Magic in Mind LIVE where I explore the Healer as Truth-Speaker as revealed through the ancient magics of northern Europe.